The Only Woman
by figured-out
Summary: The only woman for him. 6 parts, complete.
1. 1

**The Only Woman.**  
_Sydney/Vaughn  
Season 3._

**1.**  
She doesn't want to be the other woman, and she tells him so repeatedly. But then he looks at her, and her strength - maybe the one thing she has left - slips away. 

She's weak. When she needs to kick and scream and steal and hurt and shoot and destroy, she's strong. She's strong against her father, her mother, her enemies, her superiors, _everyone_. When it comes to Michael Vaughn, she's weak. So weak. 

She thinks back to times when she was willing to be found out and get killed just for the pleasure of eating dinner or going to a hockey game with him, times when she was willing to break rules and protocol and put herself in danger just for him. 

Back then, she wasn't even that in love. 

She thinks of other times, good times, when she didn't disguise the weakness because they were both weak, and deep inside she knew that she would do everything for him. 

When he stands in front of her, hands in his pockets and forehead wrinkles full on, she can't resist him. 

And she becomes the other woman once again. 

- 

She wants to hate Lauren Reed, because that's appropriate for the situation. Liking her can't be an option, because she's never met the woman, and pure hatred just isn't for her. 

So she stays undecided, noting to herself that it's better that way, because she doesn't need - or want - to face the woman who, though unknowingly, destroyed her heart. 

She looked at the picture Vaughn has in his office, expecting him to turn it away from her as he did the first time they met, with his picture of Alice, but he doesn't. She notices it's a picture of him and Donovan, covered in grass, and she wonders. 

He knows what she's thinking and gives her a look, forehead wrinkles in action and green eyes narrowed suspiciously, and she holds her hands up in the air as if to say, _hey, I just wanted to see how she looks like, so I can wallow in how better than me she is and how she's got you officially and I don't get you at all._

- 

it continues, daily even, because they work together and go on missions together - everyone knows Bristow and Vaughn do it better when together. They go in, talk with no words, and get out, carrying what they came to get. 

In their reports, they never mention the flights, because it's not necessary and isn't important for the operations - and because no one should know what they do on those flights. It's their time together, where she forgets the aloneness, and he pushes back the marriageness, and they are reminded of the years before. 

When it's over and they stand in the LA airport, lost for words, his ring stings her soul. When he gives her a smile and enters an unfamiliar car, she is reminded that she's nothing but the other woman. 


	2. 2

**2.**  
Lauren's going away for the weekend - Washington, to visit her family - and Vaughn tells her so over a quickly shared cup of coffee. For a moment, she wonders why he's telling her that, and then she realizes; and shakes her head no. 

He asks why. 

Because random hook ups on planes or in cars or in quiet offices are one thing - and spending the weekend together while his wife is out of town is something completely different. She doesn't need this. 

She doesn't mention Santa Barbara, and that it hurts, and he doesn't accept her excuses. 

She tells herself it's the last time, and they make plans for Friday. 

She hopes for flowers, or at least sweet words, and doesn't know he's hurting too, and that giving her what she wants will only make it harder because they'll fall back to reality and it'll hurt so much to realize two years have passed, and nothing's like it used to be. 

She tries to hide her disappointment and he tries to explain, but they give it up and simply make out again, and then he leaves and she cries and screams and throws an empty vase to the floor. 

She wishes she had seen Lauren's face so she could picture her right now, and be really angry, but he blocked her from that part of his life. So she tries to imagine what his wife looks like, and then examines her ring finger and wonders what got them there. 

- 

He's been distant since Lauren came back, and he sees the questioning looks she gives him. 

She's a good person woman, Lauren, and doesn't ask too many questions. He knows she doesn't really buy the 'work stuff' excuse, and appreciate it that she doesn't push. 

On the other hand, it bothers him, because it only reminds him of how Sydney never gave up when he wouldn't talk to her. 

Sometimes he wishes Lauren were a bit more like Sydney; it would have made things so much easier. 

- 

He sees her again on Monday, morning briefing, and recognizes the look of sadness in her eyes. 

He sits next to her - to her left though, so that their arms wouldn't touch and create awkwardness - and instead of writing notes about the latest psycho, he draws. 

He slides her the piece of paper when he's sure no one's looking, and watches as the smile shows up. 

He drew her a rose, and she finds it better than anything else. 

After lunch break, she finds a real rose in the drawer of her desk, and closes it quickly so no one would notice. 

She smiles at him from across the room and he stares at her until Weiss slaps his arm. He then asks if he ever got his _wife_ flowers, and it dawns on Michael Vaughn that he never had. 

- 

That night, he sits with Lauren in front of the TV, and she snuggles to his side as he watches a hockey game. 

He asks her if she likes roses, and she says she doesn't. 

When she falls asleep he realizes that when watching games with Sydney, she talked, and cheered, and even called out obscenities when needed. 

He turns off the TV in the middle of the game, gets up slowly so he doesn't wake Lauren, and goes to his bedroom, where he calls Sydney and talks to her until there is nothing left to say. 


	3. 3

**3.**  
Sometimes she wonders what Francie would have said had she been alive. _Are you crazy, Syd? You can't keep on doing that!_

But it's different. She's not some slut he's sleeping with because his wife doesn't give him any. It's Vaughn. 

She knows what Will would have said had he been there. _I know how much you love him, Syd, and how difficult it is to be around him, but he's married. You need to step back and learn to live without him._

But there's no one else to live with if she ends it with Vaughn. She has no one left. He's the only one. She's so alone. 

And he loves her. She knows he does. She _knows_ him, better than anyone. She knows what it's like to be loved by him, and she feels it now, just as she had 2 years ago. He loves her. 

She then thinks of her mother, and about what she would have said had she been around. _Then how come he isn't married to you?_

- 

She thinks of him when she knows he's with Lauren, and wonders if he treats Lauren the same way he used to treat her. 

Does he hold her hand when they cross the street, wrap his arm around her shoulders so that their bodies touch slightly, offer her his jacket when it gets cold? 

Does he share his ice cream with her, vanilla with sprinkles on top, his spoon in her mouth and a teasing smile on his lips? 

Does he look at her, admiring her and her every word? Does he look at her everyday like he's never seen her before, amazed, grateful that she's still there? 

Does he hold her at nights, when she feels sad, his chin on her shoulder and his arm around her stomach? Does he comfort her? Calm her? Does he make her feel things no one's made her feel before? 

Does he sit there as she takes a bath, taking a few bubbles and rubbing them on her nose, talking to her while her muscles relax, kissing her softly when she invites him to join her? 

Does he take work calls in front of her? Does she even know what he does for a living? Does he work in bed while she reads a book, kissing her hard on the lips when he's made an important discovery? 

Does she jog with him, if he even bothers jogging anymore? Does she go to the gym with him, twice a week, 7am, two hours and one water break? 

Does he talk to her about his father, show her the broken watch, share a story or two? 

Does he take out her to expensive restaurants, hockey games, places where they share such moments that she can't stand in the same place again without thinking of him? 

_Does he tell her he loves her, daily, in case she forgets or doubts or has second thought?_

She doesn't know that they've been fighting constantly since she came back, that Vaughn has changed and that Lauren can't figure out why. She doesn't know that for three days he's been sleeping on the couch, and that every morning, after he takes a shower, he holds his wedding ring between two fingers and contemplates putting it on. 

He doesn't tell her. 

- 

She starts seeing a change in him as the days go by - he smiles a little wider, stands a little taller, acts a little nicer (especially to her). He enters the Ops Center with two cups of coffee and hands her one, never minding the looks he gets from other people around them. She wonders, too, but doesn't dare to ask, because every day it gets more and more like it was when they first started dating and she doesn't want to jeopardize it. 

Days pass by and she can't help it; she enters his office, closes the door and asks what's going on. He motions for her to sit down and tells her he's missed her, and he's so glad she's alive. 

She thinks about it for a couple of seconds, trying to decide what to say next. Eventually, she asks if he's going to leave Lauren. 

"I can't do that." 

There are tears in her eyes and he sees them, and curses under his breath. "Syd." 

A single tear falls. "I can't do this anymore, Vaughn." 

He walks around his desk, sits on the edge of it, touches her chin with a trembling finger. "Sydney, you were the most beautiful thing in my life." 

She stands up. "But not anymore. Right?" 

And leaves before he manages to answer. 


	4. 4

**4.**  
He misses her. He tells her so. She turns away. 

He can't find the words to explain himself to her. She's right - he knows it - and she has every right to pull away, but part of him still refuses to understand. He thinks of their history, their time spent together, and knows he gave it up because he had to, while she's giving it up because she wants to. 

Most of time he spends sulking, especially at home, and he knows Lauren is getting fed up with his attitude. 

"What's bothering you, Michael?" she asks constantly, and he keeps quiet. There's no way to explain what he's going through. 

She knows, of course, that he's had other girlfriends before her. He even told her about Sydney, in one of their early dates, when she asked why he hesitated going out with her so. He explained the dead girlfriend situation, and made a promise to himself to let her go, to focus on Lauren, because she's nice and blond and cheery and that's exactly what he needs. 

He tells himself the same now, and that Lauren's a good woman and doesn't deserve him cheating on her because she's been nothing but loyal - but nothing works, and this time around he can't make himself pretend Sydney's not around. 

He looks away as Lauren slowly gives up, but one day, she demands that he look at her and tell her if he still loves her. 

He looks, but fails to speak, and spends yet another night on the couch. 

- 

Sydney still keeps her distance and every day it becomes harder, so he works exactly 9 to 5 and tries to spend his time with Lauren, to make it up for her, to keep the vows he spoke when he married her. 

It's hard, and every time he's with Lauren and thinks about Sydney he feels a little guilty, but finds that he can't help comparing them to each other. 

Lauren is a strong woman - though not as strong as Sydney - and works with computers for a living. She's smart - he knows - and well respected by her colleagues - maybe more than she is by her husband. 

He's been with her to a few business dinners, where she spoke of her work with passion - he could see that even though he knows nothing about computers and understands none of the work she does - and easily added more clients to the company she works for. 

He's also been with her to a few "fun" nights - her friends and their husbands and dancing and drinking - and saw that her friends adore and love her, yet couldn't stop comparing it to the way Will and Francie and Dixon and Marshall and even Danny and Emily Sloane - he's heard stories - adored Sydney and her every move. 

Lauren calls him Michael, and it stings because the people who matter call him Vaughn. Lauren thinks he works for a bank, and he can't share any aspect of his work with her. Lauren thinks his old girlfriend has been dead for two years, and he can't correct the mistake. 

- 

When another day goes by and once again Sydney keeps her professional face, giving him papers and walking away, barely a good morning, not to mention a smile, he stops at the gym on his way home, furious, and takes out his frustrations on a punching bag. Then he goes home and makes love to Lauren, slowly, as if trying to prove some sick point - _I can live without you, Sydney_, for example - and falls asleep, pushing her out of his mind and hugging his wife to his stiff form.


	5. 5

**5.**  
It is when a mission goes wrong that he realizes what he should have realized months before. 

She leaves the van the moment it is parked, a few blocks away from the building she is supposed to steal documents from, the deep red wig shines through the night as she walks towards the building and he watches her retreating back. 

He hears a little _pop_ when she switches the comm link on and quietly listens to her as she walks. When he can barely hear her breathing, he knows she has reached the building and is on her way in. Her voice - _'going in'_ - confirms it to him and he is slightly (but not really) surprised at how well he knows her. 

"One guard," she says, and he is relieved, because she can take out one guard easily. It takes two seconds and he hears her strike - someone falling to the ground and a triumphed half laugh. "Down." 

There are ten minutes of silence as she finds her way through the building and he hears noises of what he assumes is Sydney taking care of a lock. "In Ezcurra's office," she reports once the noises stop. 

"The safe should be somewhere on your left." 

He waits until she finds it, and then they wait together as Marshall's latest invention figures out the combination. 

"You shouldn't have gone alone." 

Her reply is harsh. "I can handle a safe and a bunch of papers." 

Then there is silence. He tries to listen but it's hard to know what she's doing - though he guesses: opening the safe, looking over what's in there, taking what they need, leaving. 

It takes too long and he hears nothing. He wonders if she went radio silent because she's pissed, but decides against it. 

Suddenly he hears her again. "Vaughn, they saw me," and everything happens so fast. He hears her running, and fighting. In horror he realizes she was knocked down to the floor, and that there are at least five people around her. She kicks - tries to, at least - and he knows she got hurt again when a painful breath is sucked in sharply. 

_"Where are you?"_ he calls and jumps out of the van. "Third floor!" she calls back and as he runs he listens to her getting more hurt. He starts to run faster. 

A foreign voice speaks in his ear. "No need to come, we're taking her with us," and he tries to run even faster, and his earpiece makes a static noise, and he knows he won't hear anything else from her. 

He takes his gun out when he reaches the building, holds his arm out, and waits. One minute passes and six guys come out, two of them carrying what seems to be an unconscious Sydney. He shoots, once, twice, and one guy falls. They drop Sydney to the floor and shoot back, and he runs towards them, shooting and screaming at the same time. 

He starts fighting one of them, two of them, and shoots a third one, who cries out loud and drops down. _Why isn't she waking up?_

Two of the guys try to grab him but he avoids it, and shakes her shoulder. "Sydney!" 

A guy laughs, and gets his nose broken in return. He shoots a few more times, careful not to hurt Sydney, and two more guys fall. There's only one left, and when he speaks, Vaughn knows it is the one who talked to him through Sydney's earpiece. 

"You came anyway." It's a statement, and Vaughn doesn't waste a moment before kicking and spinning and smacking and hitting the guy in the head with his gun. 

Quickly, he picks Sydney up and carries her back to the van, where he places an icepack on her forehead and impatiently waits for her to wake up. 

When she finally does, she gives him a confused look and he hugs her tightly as she looks around. "You took out all those guys yourself?" she asks, and he doesn't answer, just inhales her scent and entire being. 

He doesn't realize he is shaking until she places a hand on each of his cheeks and looks into his eyes. "Are you hurt?" 

He shakes his head and tightens his hold on her. "I thought I was gonna lose you again." 

She understands and speaks softly. "You didn't." 

He buries his chin in the fake red hair. "I love you, Syd."


	6. 6

**6.**  
She wakes up and finds him next to her, and decides that it's the best way to wake up. 

She showers and gets dressed before he even opens his eyes and she laughs at him when he does. "Morning." 

He grabs her and pulls her back into bed, where he kisses her deeply and tickles her sides. "Morning." 

"We have to go to work." 

And they do, together, as if everything's fine and nothing was ever wrong, or different. 

They go over files with the occasional kiss, and find out that - as always when they work together - it's quicker and better and much more fun. 

- 

He goes back home and finds Lauren on the couch, staring at the wall, her eyes empty. She doesn't speak until he stands in front of her, and when she does it's not pretty. 

"How did we get to a point where you don't even bother hiding the fact that you're seeing someone else?" 

He doesn't know how to answer. 

"When did _I_ become the other woman, Michael?!" 

He doesn't look at her when he whispers out an apology. 

That night they call their lawyer, and the following morning he packs a bunch of clothes and necessities and drops them off at Sydney's. 

- 

When Sydney wonders about Lauren, Vaughn groans and says that it doesn't matter. 

"You were married to her for a year!" 

"Only because you weren't around." 

- 

Days pass and it feels natural to wake up next to her and go home with her. The looks around the Ops center no longer wonder what's going on and how's the wife, but again envy the shared love. 

Marshall smiles a little brighter when Vaughn passes by, Sydney once again laughs at Weiss' stories, Dixon stops talking during the morning's briefing when instead of listening they're busy smiling at each other, and Jack Bristow places a hand on his shoulder and tells him it's about time he came to his senses. 

The day his divorce goes through he buys a ring, and proposes a week later after an op in Italy. Sydney smiles brightly and he kisses her, then whispers in her ear that she's the only woman he thinks about, the only woman he can look at - the only woman for him. 

-end-  
28.8.2004 


End file.
